Updates and Thoughts on Ministry

First, I feel the need for some updates on previous posts. Our kids choir rehearsal on Sunday actually went very well. They have been behind, but were all caught up on Sunday. They all behaved surprisingly well. Could it be that I told them we were going to hand out parts, but we couldn't until we got everything done? Maybe, but honestly larger threats/bribes have proved ineffective before. I was just so encouraged that we were caught up. Phew! I might not be a failure after all! :)

We also had our meeting yesterday with the aforementioned pastor. The meeting went very well, although nothing was really decided. On the bright side, the job has the capacity of being more than we had hoped. They have a youth ministry position for my husband, a music ministry one for me, and lots of other work besides. They were also hoping to not only be able to financially support one or both of us full-time, but to help us move down into the area. Wow. Not sure if that will actually work out, but the fact that it is even a possibility and that they are committed to helping our financial situation is really comforting. We will hopefully know in the next ten days, which realistically can probably be translated into three months. We both feel an uncanny peace about this though, as if it's going to happen. It's in God's hands though. Cliche? Yes, but true.

I always expected that when the time came to get a job for the ministry my husband would be done with school, we would be in our thirties, and we would have lots of time to prepare. And here we are at 25/26 looking at a real job possibility. Wow. I feel way too young and inexperienced for this as a whole, but capable and ready for the actual tasks.

I found it ironic that our pastor preached on the appropriate use of power/authority in our lives this week as we're looking at jumping into powerful positions that will help make a church. It has really gotten me thinking. Whether we join this ministry or another down the road, we will be in great positions to work for God or for Satan in our church. I have been in a church where I can honestly say Satan was at work. That experience made me turn my back on my calling. Other teens my age left the church forever and some will be scarred for life. My husband and I cannot let that happen in our church. What an awesome, fearsome responsibility!

So, I suppose throughout this blogging experience (my future) I need to be asking the following questions. Am I using my power correctly or am I abusing it? Am I being a good example (especially to the teens) or am I adding strongholds for Satan into their lives? Am I living authentically or am I acting every week? Do I really love God or do I just love this job? Why am I doing this? Is it for the applause of men, for power, for enjoyment, to feel holy? What are the right reasons? Am I teaching truth or lies? Am I living truth or lies? Am I encouraging people or turning them away empty? What are God's plans and am I following them or my own? Am I sacrificing my family for the ministry? Am I prideful, hateful, selfish, looking for sin? Am I watching out for my husband and being an encourager, not a nag? Are we both watching out for the sins that creep in and destroy? So many questions. So much responsibility! It is amazing how something can feel so right, how you can feel so at peace about something, and yet feel so terrified.