Potty Training Continued...

Instead of a quick potty training week, we seem to have settled on training whenever we can find a moment. Of course, the week after I decide to potty train has to be the busiest week in a while. Most days we haven't even been home, much less had time to put on undies. So potty training has stalled a bit.

The good news: He likes the candy, so he is very motivated when we get home to run to the bathroom and ask to pee. Sometimes he actually saved a full bladder and sometimes he just does the tiniest dribble and expects payment. More often the later which gets frustrating. Considering we aren't even training him most days, I am very happy that he's at least taking initiative.

He now is able to tell us when he needs to go. Of course, it's not in normal language. He gives a big "uh oh" and often grabs himself. He'll give 1-3 of those before it's too late. It is a nice change from just having to guess or notice that the room got quiet.

The bad news: We aren't making any progress and he is getting slacker. When we do put on undies, he seems to care a lot less about accidents. These really bothered him before, but I guess we've let him get used to it.

He also has found a way to manipulate the system. Whoever believes young children are angels are crazy. Here we are at 17 months working the system! He has figured out that if he empties it all, he only gets one candy and he's done for a while. But...if he can dribble just a bit, he will need to come back quickly and he'll get candy every time he goes! The result? We are in the bathroom every two minutes...literally. Sigh.

So our next step is to give candy not for peeing, but for staying dry and maybe for peeing a lot. However, who knows when I'm going to have another slue of free days to start working on that. Oh well, if nothing else he is started and has made progress. We still have 16 more weeks until the baby is supposed to be here, so we do have time. It's a start!

Potty Training Days #4-6

If at first you don't succeed...try, try, try, try, try, try and try again.

Finally success! It has been a really long week, but we are finally getting somewhere! Day #4 started out rough and discouraging again. However, after two good refresher courses of how we pee, he ran in there the third time and just went. Just like that.

Throughout the rest of the day, we would visit the potty every 10-15 minutes and he would pee on command. No fussing, no crying, just go. Amazing!

He stayed mostly dry, although he is still having issues emptying all the way. That means he'll drink a big cup of water and then go, but only empty part of it. Then as he's playing he'll start to drip. If mommy doesn't catch it and get him emptied, he'll eventually let it all go for a big accident. However, I've found if I watch and get him to the pot every 10-15 minutes he'll stay mostly dry. Altogether, the day was a breath of fresh air!

Day #5 was pretty much a waste. It landed on a Sunday so we spent the morning at church, afternoon sleeping, and evening needing to run errands in a diaper. However, some positive things we experienced was twice when we were home, he would give a little "oh no!" and run towards the bathroom, in his language asking to go potty. We would strip him and he'd go. More often than not, his diaper would be dry. Good to know he's taking intiative himself!

Day #6 is today! And it has just started, but I won't be there. He is home with daddy today! I will recap any further news later, but we've already had an eventful morning. He continued intiating himself. I was planning on leaving him in a diaper till daddy took over, but first thing he goes running in there asking to go pee. I strip him down and he just lets it fly. By the time daddy got up an hour later, we had already gone three more times and had stayed dry.

However, today was a struggle with two things: emptying his bladder and a rebellious, uncooperative attitude. He had a very full bladder from his milk, yet would only pee a little then demand he was done. I have been trying to teach him that he needs to sit and continue, one squirt just doesn't do it! He has been very resistent to that. We spent most of the morning fighting that he could not get up. He spends so much time and energy fighting it, if he would just cooperate, he can pee quickly and be done. But of course it's never that easy.

I did find that leaving the room made him cooperate faster as there was no one left to argue with. However, that is tricky as he is still popping up and has a tendency to yank the potty bowl up spilling pee everywhere, trying to flush it himself. So I can't leave him for more than a minute yet. Hopefully, I can continue to train him to be more obedient and trustworthy with that.

More about that attitude: I have noticed this entire week since we started training that a little terrible two's monster has risen from inside of him. Children do often act out due to changes or bad things in their lives. Mine apparently is not enjoying this change and is letting me know it. The sweet little son I had last week has been replaced by a roaring dragon demanding independence and disobedience in every aspect of life. He knows mommy is not ok with fit throwing, yet has thrown several in stores this week. He has basically been awful.

Just a word of warning that this may also happen to your child as they are stressed by this big change in their lives. We are slowly working through this attitude and helping him to settle back into an open and obedient heart.

Well, we will see how the rest of today goes. He is with daddy for the very first time potty training. Daddy has never done this before, but is doing pretty good. Although he has already run through 3 pairs of underwear in the hour I have been gone, so we'll see. Unfortunately, potty training is geared more towards mommy's strengths as it takes constant attention and ridiculous patience to catch them before they pee, especially as my guy is not able to catch himself yet. Hang in there daddy!

Potty Training Day #3

Today was another day of struggles. This concept of peeing seems to have alluded my son. This is one of the issues you can run up against training so young. Yet, we are working through it. My son has always been particularly oblivious to the potty process, so this is not necessarily true for the majority of 17 month olds that I have known.

I just determined to keep trying all day. I have figured out his signals for needing to go and also figured out that he likes to lift his leg a little in order to pee. Wonder if there's a link between male dogs lifting their legs, the men lifting a little at the urinal and my son lifting a leg... Either way, it's a little funny, yet helpful.

He kept dry all day with only two accidents! That's right, most kids you have to teach to stay dry, mine I just have to teach to pee. He naturally wants to stay dry, but then his bladder gets so full he starts dripping and eventually lets it all go out of necessity. That's how it went all day. I would try and try to get him to pee, and sometimes I was successful, but he never would empty all the way. So he would drip a bit and we'd run back to the potty and get a little more out.

So in the end, we aren't doing too bad. He has very few accidents and the ones he does have are only drips and obviously out of great need.

We did have one big one when we had a visitor overstay their welcome. I found that I cannot get him to focus on peeing when there is someone else in the house. I was just walking them out the door, preparing to run with him to the bathroom, when he just let loose. It was a big one! He is such an OCD thing though that he goes "oh no!" and then runs for a towel to clean. :) That one was definitely not his fault and those sort of accidents are just to be expected.

So all in all, we are making progress. I am a little frustrated as I had hoped the progress to move faster. I also am walking new territory as I've never had a child that just cannot figure out how to pee and refuses to try as it's uncomfortable.

Sorry if this is convoluted and confusing. I am having to get up every paragraph or so for another bathroom break. In fact, time to run again now!

Potty Training Day #2

My son still believes that peeing anywhere, especially the potty is the worst sin to commit. Yep, he is committed to dirtying his poor little potty at all costs!

After a long struggle with this yesterday and still having initial problems in the morning, I got desperate. I had heard a method where you use dolls to practice peeing on the potty and even give them candy for succeeding. I needed some way to show him peeing in the potty was actually good as he didn't believe even our biggest congratulations at his drips, so the dolls came out.

Or rather his favorite monkey. I got a cup, hid it behind the monkey and the monkey sat down on the potty and "peed". We both congratulated monkey on a job well done and gave him some candy. I noticed my son's eyes lighting up, but wasn't sure if it worked. Until he ran to his bedroom and started bringing out more animals. We had several pees and then had him take a turn. And it worked! Sort of...

Now he'll pee on demand, but just one squirt. Obviously he has more than just one squirt in that bulging bladder. After working all morning trying to get him to pee more, we got monkey to potty in squirts and then give more when mommy asked. No luck.

In the end, we spent the majority of the day with me demanding that he stay on the potty until he had emptied it, not just popping right back up. He played the drama king and screamed the whole way, but I noticed when he screamed he inadvertently peed. So I just encouraged the squirts and celebrated them and turned a deaf ear to his screams. At that point, his bladder needed release any way we could get it. I figured he wasn't actually being harmed in any way or being made to sit too long, in fact, I wasn't even scolding him, but being upbeat and encouraging. He just flat out didn't want to and I told tough. Sometimes our kids need to hear tough.

This went on most of the day. Finally, he woke up from second nap around five and we went at it again. Except this time no screaming...and this time he would pee long strings and more if I asked! He did great all night with some initial accidents where he'd start before he realized, but we got the rest in the potty. I was more than happy with that!

I have learned again and again when you feel discouraged and sure it won't work to keep going as you're about to make a breakthrough. I felt like quitting all day and am so glad I didn't!

Now that we can actually pee in the potty now I hope to make some bigger progress. However, after yesterday's traumatic day, I am still sitting here typing putting off the morning change over to undies. :)

One more thing, I have always trained with a timer, but this time I found it just didn't work. Since we were dealing with a still full bladder, he needed to go more often than I could time. I learned to watch his signals instead. It took a day or so, but I'm finally understanding his signals to pee. Eventually we'll switch over to a timer, but for now I found this is working great! Just takes moms full attention 24/7...

Ok, no more procrastinating. Off to start Day #3!

Potty Training Day #1

The adventure has started! We started with only an afternoon and evening to work with, but we got plenty done. We went straight to undies and started a schedule for pottying.

Some things I learned so far:

1. There are general principles that always work and it's always good to read up on other's ideas, but know that every kid is different and will need a mix of every method.

2. It is TONS harder to potty train your kid than someone else's. Think about it. When you were with another caregiver, didn't you behave so much better? Didn't you have twice the bravery when they asked you to do something hard? When it's not your kid, isn't it easier to institute tough love?

I read every tip I could get my hands on, potty trained many, many children and I still ran up against something I've never seen before. I have been suspecting for a while that my son is a neat freak. Yeah, let's just call it what it is now, downright OCD!

We started the day out fine. One pee immediately in the potty like he was born to do it. Then waiting, waiting, waiting. At first I thought he didn't need to go, then I realized he was holding it for dear life! After a series of little accidents, I started realizing the problem.

Even though I made a big effort to keep the training positive and only gave him nice admonitions of "oh no!" that pee was not to be in his pants or on the floor, he seems to have taken the idea of pee being bad and run with it!

Now he considers all pee to be bad, on the floor, in the toilet, and even in his diaper. Yep, we finally put him in a diaper after dinner to let him relieve his full bladder and he kept getting upset when he'd leak in there a little.

How do you potty train a guy who refuses to use the potty for sanitary reasons?

The next day just got better...worse.

Potty Training is Still Coming!!!

We had a minor set back with scheduling that made me wait another week to start our big potty training adventure. It really is essential to find as empty of a week as possible to start. A week where you can just sit in the bathroom all day if needed and order take out for dinner. Well, this is our week! I have another half day of work tomorrow and then 4 full days to try to get some good basic training in. After that, he'll be handed over to a day with daddy and a day in daycare...both of which make me kind of nervous. So I'm praying for some fast training!

I don't know how working moms ever get this done. Oh wait, back in my daycare days we did it for them. That sounds kind of nice right now... Still, potty training is a lot of work!

I had some positive things happen this week. My babysitter voiced strong approval in this venture and happens to share my beliefs in early training. She's a pretty new sitter, so I wasn't completely sure how she'd take it. My husband, while I think overwhelmed thinking about the process and still having no idea what he's getting himself into, is also very supportive. Goodness, just looking at a possible diaper bill with two gets both of us motivated! My son has made some good strides even in these last two weeks that we've waited in development that I believe will be helpful. In fact, he'll officially be 17 months next week..closing in on that easier 18 month mark!

And yet...the one downside is really dragging me down. My son still isn't grasping when he's peeing, cannot pee on command, and is not very interested in the process besides the candy (not that we've really spent that much time working on this stuff). I know this is common and inevitable to some extent, but it's really making me question my resolve.

Don't get me wrong, I completely believe in the process and know he is ready. The question is, is mom...? If this doesn't work out, will my schedule be able to handle this extreme potty training beyond my 4 days off? Will dad and I be able to handle these next few weeks of constant attention to bathroom habits? This has been a nail biter of a decision for me...literally.

The thing is, it would be a lot easier to just put this off a few weeks... It's funny how long that inner questioning of a parent's decisions and just plain procrastination can put this process off! I hear of more four year olds training these days...

However, I don't know when I'll get another "free" week like this, so I'm going to buckle down and give it my best effort! Hopefully this doesn't become a blog about failure with early potty training. :)

Potty Training - Prep Day

Well, I kind of messed myself up with this potty training deal. I am a part-time working momma and therefore have a big chunk of my week where it's just not wise to start potty training as I won't be there. I knew I was on the last of my free days, but just wanted to catch a pee in the potty. I thought that was as far as it would go. However, my son kind of ran with it... So despite our success yesterday, my son is back in diapers today and will have to wait a few more days before we officially begin our big potty training marathon. Not idea, but we'll make it work.

Here's how yesterday went:

After afternoon nap, I decided that snack time was a perfect opportunity to finally catch that pee we've been trying for all week. It often takes just one pee in that potty to really be able to start. At this age, they have no clue what you're doing until they see how they peed at least once.

Let's back up a little now and explain the pre-training work. I've had the potty chair in our bathroom for months now. I helped my son practice sitting on it and made a big deal about how it was his potty and differentiated it from mommy and daddy's potty. He gets his own special frog potty! He has played with it and enjoys sitting on it. Part one: get over fear of sitting on potty. Check!

For the past few weeks, I've known I wanted to start training pretty soon. Every now and again I would help him undress and sit on his potty while I sat across on mine. Of course, he never actually did anything, but we practiced going potty together. When he started getting resistent to the idea, I broke down and rewarded him with candy if he sat for a little while. That changed everything. :) Part two: get over fear of sitting on potty naked. Check!

This last week, I have been hoping to catch a pee in the potty. For several days now I have been sitting him down every time I have to go and encouraging him to go pee. Of course, he didn't really understand. We would clap for momma and check out how she went pee, but nothing from baby. I kept just missing the pee or he'd hold it so he didn't have to go in the scary potty.

Finally yesterday, I got smart...or desperate. A good way to make them need to go pee is to get them full of fluids. It was snack time, so we got a big cup of gatorade (I only let him drink water or milk so this was a special treat) and a snack cup and we went to sit on the john. I read books, played finger games and just waited for the inevitable. After the second cup, he had a HUGE belly, but was resisting with all of his might. It's scary to pee in weird, new situations! He was even dripping, but not go. 30 minutes later he just has to let go! Now, I'm not an advocate for letting your kids sit forever. You really have to watch it because their legs go numb and that's painful! However, we switched positions around and he could touch the floor, so his legs were fine. Sometimes that first one just takes time.

A celebration exploded in our bathroom at the sight of that pee! In fact, he was so startled that he stopped. :) He got a good bit in there, but as I was later to find out that was a very small part of his very full bladder. Beware of that. He got two pieces of candy for his troubles. We emptied the pee in the potty and celebrated flushing it down. He still didn't quite understand what had happened, but he was starting to get it.

I got a wild hair and decided to throw those training undies on. We talked about they were dry and touched the comfy softness of the dry undies. I set a timer for 10 minutes...however, I didn't realize at that point just how full his bladder still was. 5 minutes later he looks horrified as he feels wetness running (ok, squirting) everywhere. Most children HATE the feeling of wet undies! He was already done so we didn't run to the potty (although this is a good first step), but said his big phrase "oh know!" and talked about how that made a mess. I had him touch his undies to see they were wet. (Note: not appropriate to rub them in it or on their face. That's gross. Just help them to understand kindly that it's wet. It's an idea of wet vs. dry, NOT a punishment.) I had him help me clean it up (it's important that they realize their messes create work and they will have to do some of it, sanitarily of course.). Then we went and tried again on the potty to see if there was more.

No luck. So we got back in undies and set the timer for 10 minutes. He still wasn't done. You'd think mommy would have caught on. 5 minutes later just as he starts he goes "oh no!". We rush to the bathroom. He had stopped by then, but by waiting for a little while we got another big pee in the potty! Big celebration! If they fail and succeed all at once, celebrate the success, get past the failure.

Well, the afternoon continued on like that. In the end, we had a total of 3 in the potty, 4 out of the potty. This is really typical for the first day or so. However, by the end of the day we had learned where pee comes out, where it's ok to pee, what it feels like to pee, and what the rewards and downsides were to following or not following the potty training rules. He was very proud of himself and so was mommy! The last time, he didn't take very long and peed like a pro!

One other word of advice, if they won't pee in front of you, maybe they're just nervous. It's hard to pee on command when someone is watching. The last time, I caught on to this so I left the room instructing him to pee. A few seconds later I hear some excited chatter. I came back to a very full little potty chair! A little trick I learned, don't make a habit of hanging out in the bathroom. If you leave, they will be able to sit longer and the privacy (and boredom) often causes a quicker result. Or feel free to leave them with some books or toys to play with. Just once you feel that they are ready, let them try. At some point, they need those apron strings to be let out and to realize this potty thing is their own responsibility.

So that's my word on our first potty day. We will continue trying this week, but in a few days when I have a few off days in a row we will go straight undies all day (except sleeping) and just get this done!