Monday, March 12, 2012

Sometimes God Answers with a Bang

As I was despairing today in my earlier post, I was commenting on how being a good wife/mother is an impossible task. It is especially hard when there are a million self-help books written on how to be a godly wife/mother, each espousing a different to-do list of how to be THE godly wife/mother. How in the world do you know what's correct or even where to start?

Normally, when I ask God questions I get to wait a few years before I find my answer. Today was my lucky day! As I posted my blog article and signed off, I switched over to facebook. I could hardly see the home feed through my tears of despair and yet I happened to notice a sermon a friend had posted about the Proverbs 31 wife. I've certainly heard a lot of promotion for the Proverbs 31 concept and decided to give it try.

It was a sermon by Rachel Held Evans given at Mars Hill Church. While I'm not sure I hold to everything Ms. Evans promotes, her sermon was exactly what I needed to hear. In fact, I shared it on facebook for my other mom friends.

The crux of her message was that our culture (especially the Christian culture) has a tendancy to come up with blueprints or to-do lists that make a perfect woman. We have this Joan Cleaver vision in our head of the woman who has perfect children, a perfect house, a tiny waist and a happy hubby. We even find these perfect women in the Bible (such as the Proverbs 31 woman) and dedicate ourselves to following their holy lead.

Yet, if we stop and really search the Scriptures, we will find no such perfect blueprint. If we try to look at those women's lives exactly as Scripture tells them, we will find darkness, failure, and characteristics that are adverse to our culture. Ruth was a bossy, bold woman who took the bull by the horns. You find in Scripture that Boaz actually submitted to her in marriage rather than the other way around. She was no "yes dear" kind of wife! In fact, she was in almost every way adverse to our culture and her culture's idea of a good wife. Even the Proverbs 31 woman has interesting aspects when you look at the actual Hebrew and find the more accurate translation describes her as militaristic and conquesting.

In other words, why are we modeling ourselves against these perfect woman? Does it say anywhere in the Bible, be like Ruth or mystery Proverbs lady? There is no exact blueprint for being a wife/mother.

Why are we trying to be like all of these heroic women? Sure it's good to pick up good habits and wisdom from godly women and men before us, but why are they our perfect example? Isn't Christ supposed to be filling that spot?

In fact, God has a to-list for us. Jesus broke it down for us with two commands: LOVE the Lord your God with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength and LOVE your neighbor as yourself.

Hmm... You will need to hear the sermon to connect the dots more accurately than my poorly constructed explanation, but here is what I have learned:

I am responsible for being the best person I can be with God's help, guidance, and grace.

I am only responsible to God and my family, not to the Joan Cleever ideal or any others who judge me.

I am indeed responsible as a woman/mother/wife/servant of God in the following areas:

1. To love my God with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength.
2. To love my husband and all that that entails, whether it be submission and respect or making his lunch and not nagging at his faults.
3. To love my children and teach them to love my God. This includes discipline and training (which are private pet peeves on my personal Cleaver to-do list), yet also includes fun, love, joy, laughter, and time. I will not do it perfectly, but it is my job to do the best that I can.
4. To serve God in areas beyond my family as he has individually called me to do. I am to do my best in these areas, not sacrificing my other jobs as a wife/mother, but also not forsaking my calling either. I will be a good friend, teach my kid's choir, and serve the people God puts into my life with purpose, love and joy.
5. I am responsible for me. If I am not reaching my full potential or focused on unnecessary things, it is my job to change that. Obviously, I cannot do that without God's strength as I am very weak, but no one else can do it for me.

And that's it. Big list? Yes. But not a lot of items. You know why? Instead of 1,000,000 books, 10 easy ways, or becoming a new woman in 31 days, I can boil this list down to one word.

LOVE

That is my job. To love. Is it an uncomplicated or easy job? Nope! The most complicated and hardest. But I need not try to find the answer or a blueprint. All I need is just one word. LOVE.

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
I John 4:7-8

Eschet chayil!

http://marshill.org/teaching/2012/03/11/ruth-2v10-23-eshet-chayil/

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