Life is Unfair

From our youngest moments we have a grasp of what fairness means. We are all quick to yell "That's not fair!" over the slightest injustice. I remember adults always telling me, "Life isn't fair. That's just the way it is. Get over it!" In fact, this is a motto I've learned to live by. My personality naturally goes with the flow and brushes off the little wrongs and slights as "just life"...ok, at least the daily injustices.

However, those big moments of unfairness still get to me. I've had plenty of them this week and find my heart shouting "Unfair! Unfair!" From the big speeding ticket where I sped up to get out of an accident right as I passed that graceless cop to the old best friend who walked away spitefully and took with her all of our friends that started out as mine.

Both instances are times where I have a strong defense. Except nobody listens. It's like those nightmares where you are just searching for someone who will listen to you and yet you realize you are a ghost that nobody sees. That cop wasn't interested in any explanation. It's not very gracious to go out of your way to muddy the name of a friend even when that's exactly what they've done to you. No point in joining them in petty childishness.

And yet, "Unfair! Unfair! Unfair!" *Sniff*

As I sit there stewing and scheming for revenge or at least forced justice, I hear the whisper of God in my heart to love and forgive. I hate that whisper. And yet, that whisper has wrapped me in loving, forgiving arms many times this week. From a husband who, not knowing the hurt from my friends, chose the perfect moment to speak extra special words of love and commitment to the unexpected forgiveness I felt after an evening of short temper with my son.

God is slowly coaxing the anger out of my soul and teaching me to just let it go. Not an easy thing to do.

It still hurts though. It hurts to watch your close friends drift away and to feel lonely. It hurts to know it's time to start at square one and find new friends, even when I see God putting some specific, wonderful people in my path that will be better choices. Life just hurts and it's not fair.

But I will accept my lot. It sure could be worse. Today I'll embrace the wonderful blessings I do have and love not only the ones who love me in return, but also those who have been so unfair and hurtful this week.