First Steps

My little boy took his first steps yesterday.

I have been looking forward to his first steps for a long time. It's after all one of those big events and milestones that you write in the babybook. Except it was a lot bigger than I thought.

Kind of like your love as a parent. You know that when you have kids you will love them with an undescribeable love. You know it's coming. But when it comes...it's stronger and more joyous than you could ever imagine.

It may sound cheesy, but watching my little boy walk was one of the greatest moments in my life.

There is just something special about first steps. It's that first step towards becoming a grown up. First step towards independence. First step towards humanity. Sadly, first step away from mommy.

Even Roen seemed to feel that this was an extra special accomplishment. Every time he walked the distance between his parents, he grinned this gigantic, proud grin that seemed to say a lot more than "Look at me!" This morning my husband and I noticed that he wasn't just cruising the couch. No, he was cruising with a newfound confidence. In fact, he was downright parading himself around that couch knowing that he could let go and continue going...if he wanted. :)

It was a rite of passage like I didn't expect. Like adolescence, his first car, his first drink, his first love. It all started with his first steps.

There are all sorts of "first steps" in life. I wonder if God feels the same way about our steps? What an amazing thought. What an amazing experience this week!

That Nasty Little Voice

Has anyone ever told you you couldn't do something? Have you been told you are a failure and need to re-direct your energies? If you're anything like me, that nasty little voice pops up into your head and eventually you start believing it.

I have always been very gifted musically. There really hasn't been anything I can't do. Ever since I was little I dreamed about composing. My mom tells me I would make up songs on the playground and perform them for my family.

In college, I couldn't wait to take my composition class and become a good or at least functional composer! Until my composition professor became that nasty little voice.

My composition class was the hardest class of my college career. No matter what I wrote, I could not please my professor. I remember meetings in his office where he would tell me how I had no talent in composing and was impossible. He never used those exact words and never meant to be cruel, but...

The brightest day of my college career was oddly in composition class. I worked so so sooo hard on an arrangement of my favorite Christmas song, trying desperately to get back in my professor's good graces. At my weekly office visit, he told me I was doing great. He praised my song in front of the whole class and made us all play through it several times. I was so excited when I saw the A on the cover! Or even a B!

C-?!?! Yep, worst grade in the class yet and worse than everyone around me. What the heck?! My best got me a C-.

I decided that day that I should just give up composing.

Yet all of a sudden I'm feeling very pricked to get at it again. I direct a children's choir and have found that all of the musicals being published are stupid, cliche, and doctrinally weak if not crazy. For quite some time now, I have been passionate about writing my own musicals.

I was planning on giving out the music portion to a friend, however that fell through. I also gave away the script to my husband because he's much better at that sort of thing. Now I'm left with the music myself and feeling like I really need to just do it. But that nasty little voice says I can't!

I know that I am no Handel or Mozart or even Coldplay, but maybe I can at least do an adequate job. Maybe I can do this. I feel like I should. I guess it's time to punch that nasty voiced professor in the face!

Stupid Office Injuries

I am a workman's comp nightmare. I have several jobs worth of co-workers that know this about me. No, I don't work with any heavy machinery so I haven't ripped off a limb or anything yet. However, my ability to hurt myself with the smallest desktop staples (pun not intended, but accepted) is legendary.

Oh sure, I get all of the typical office injuries: tendonitis (in both wrists), stubbed toes, banged body parts, scratches, even a twisted ankle and knee once. The problem is that those are only the beginning. Here's a list of just the unusual injuries that I can remember:

• Stappled my thumb.


• Cut myself with scissors multiple times


• Smashed my finger while whole punching


• Cardboard cuts


• Intense paper cuts off plan paper which got close to slitting my wrist


• Cut off half my thumb nail with the paper cutter (The only reason I have escaped worse mutilation from that thing is that I'm terrified of it!)


• Burned on copier parts


• Several bumps on the head (one actually creating a raised egg) from the phone


• Cut from paper clip


• Stabbed with pen


• Missed my chair sitting down


• Cut my finger along with the tape on the dispenser

And now my latest...well...I think I saved the best for last.

• Snapped my eyeball with a rubber band.

Yes, this is actually possible. Come to find out a rubber band can break and snap back before you have time to blink.

I was putting a thin rubber band around something and it broke. The end whipped back catching me perfectly on my bare eyeball. There is now a stinging red spot on my eye. Feels similar to the time that a little girl in my afterschool ministry sliced my eyeball with her fingernail making it bleed for about 30 minutes...

Sound like a 4th Stooge? I really don't think I'm clumsy. Not normally. In fact, I pride myself on being somewhat graceful. Maybe I need to re-think that...

The terrifying question keeps running through my head...what's next...?

I Have an Excuse!

Yes, I have been absent for a while. I know that I promised to write more and then promptly stopped writing. I do have an excuse!

I started another blog. Yes, I do feel like a dirty cheater, but it's turned out quite nicely for me. Remember how I was whining about not having a purpose for my blog? Ding ding ding! I have a special purpose! (For those of you who haven't seen The Jerk with Steve Martin...you need to.)

Since I got married I started gaining weight. I'm convinced marriage makes you fat. You know what makes you even fatter? Pregnancy! My son is now 9 months old (can you believe it?!) and I am still rather...large. Or at least I feel that way.

I started a diet. It actually is going pretty well. However, I knew I needed accountability...and I had a couple of people ask me how I was doing it...and all of a sudden, I had my purpose!

So I started all over again with my brand new weight loss blog. My blog is about dieting in a realistic fashion by making small life long changes that build on each other. In the process, I have lost 6 pounds and am averaging 1 pound per week! Not bad, considering the lack of effort I've had to put into my diet.

How am I doing it? Well, you'll just have to join my cheating ways and read the blog to find out. :)

http://therealisticdieter.blogspot.com