The Best Gift

It’s funny how someone you have never met can impact your life so greatly.

When I was a kid, I don’t remember ever wishing for toys or money or looks that my friend’s had. You know what I envied? Their grandparents. Oh sure, I had grandparents. I had one complete set left. They were quite the pair. Everyone’s family is dysfunctional, but mine… Not only was my immediate family terribly scarred by the things they had done to my mother, but they continued to fail me.

I distinctly remember noticing at a very early age that my grandmother never told me she loved me. I remember waiting for years for those words, the anger growing. Finally, at the age of 12 she finally said them. 12 years… It’s not like we had a “bad” relationship with them. We saw them every Christmas and many holidays. They bought me gifts and sometimes did random things that were nice. But they were never there for me. They never loved me like a grandparent should. I watched my friends with their grandparents who loved them and oh it burned!

What’s worse is that I had those grandparents. My father’s parents were godly, wonderful people. When I was a little girl, I am told that I loved my granddad and he doted on me. By the time I could remember him, he had severe Parkinsons and Alzheimers. I remember visiting him in the nursing home and receiving blank stares or random pats for a little girl he didn’t know existed. I loved him dearly, but he just wasn’t able to be there.

Then there is my grandmother. She is the woman I never met and have missed from my earliest memories. She died when my father was a teenager. She never met my mother. She was the mother of five boys who always wanted a girl. From pictures and stories, I have always known several things about her: she would have loved me like a grandma should, she would have spoiled me, she would have influenced my life as a godly grandma, she passed her looks to me, I feel like we would have been very close, and even though I have very little idea of what she was actually like, I desperately wanted/want to be just like her.


Today is my birthday. It’s kind of a mediocre one this year because we lack money and it lands on my hardest work day. However, I received the greatest gift I have ever gotten from my dad. He wrote this in an email to me today:

“You have a lot of my Mom's qualities and characteristics, I think. Hair color, certain occasional mannerisms I see, and I think even some personality similarities. I think you and she would have really enjoyed each other's company - even if you were the same age, I think you would have been good friends.”

He had no idea of how much I wanted to believe those things all of my life. How much I yearned to know her and be loved by her, much less to be her friend. According to him, I AM like her.

I have never known you Grandma, never heard your laugh or feel your hug, but I love you with all of my heart. I can’t wait to meet you in heaven someday!

It’s funny how someone you have never met can impact your life so greatly.